Letting Go

Menauhant Beach, Falmouth

I am a little bit over a week into my sabbatical. It has been an interesting, relaxing, yet eye-opening time in so many ways. I planned on these first two weeks to be fairly straightforward—resting, getting some needed sleep, and just enjoying myself, all with the idea of resetting myself.

I've had the opportunity to worship in a local church, connect with some old friends, and work with my hands as the Bible instructs (finally got to paint the deck and do some yard cleanup). I've been fixing up a small boat that I got off Facebook Marketplace for cheap. I need something a little bit more stable to fish with rather than my kayak, which is difficult to turn around in to get what I need because of my back issues. I had the opportunity to go to a hunting convention and a car show. The highlight of the time was celebrating the birth of a new granddaughter. The rest of my time has been hiking around the Cape in areas that I grew up in (so much has changed, and not for the better) as well as reading three short books.

One of the first books I read was Soul Reset by Junius B. Dotson. The author defines a soul reset as a "hard stop of chronic busyness; a deep look inward, and an intentional look to God; and a new, more holistic journey forward that more closely resembles an abundant life into which Jesus calls his disciples." Or, in simpler terms, "a time just to be with God, instead of doing things for God."

As much as I love the ministry of the gospel, this is where I think leaders lose their spark. We can get so caught up in doing things for God—important things, things people really need from leaders in the church—but if we don't take care of our relationship with Jesus, then ministry, which God intended to bring life and joy, can bring burnout and discouragement. Every single one of us needs to prioritize spending time with God, rather than doing things for God. Both are important, but one is way more important than the other.

The most eye-opening line in the book hit me like a freight train. You see, the first part of this week I was still in pastor mode, worrying about what was going on in the church. Were the worship services OK? Did people show up to worship? Did anyone get sick or have any needs that might not be taken care of in my absence? Is anyone falling through the cracks? Then I read this on page 21:

"I've carried burdens that didn't belong to me; they belonged to God. I've carried people's problems that didn't belong to me; they belonged to God. I've carried unrealistic views of how others thought a leader should behave, think, and act that didn't belong to me; they belonged to God. I've carried hurt that I should have given to God. I've carried the weight of unrealistic expectations when I should have given them to God. I was operating in my own strength, instead of accessing the kingdom resources that are available to me."

This wasn't really new information to me. I've learned this stuff before; I just hadn't practiced what I'd learned. Of course, there are things that belong to me—things that I have responsibility for and the calling for—but there are also things that belong to others—things that are their responsibility alone, and there are things that belong to God. These are things that I have zero responsibility for. A long, healthy, God-driven, and empowered ministry depends on knowing the difference in what belongs to whom.

Pastor Dotson includes in his book a series of practices to help develop a consistent practice of resetting your soul. I know some people might be taken aback by this terminology, but whatever you call it, it is a lost skill in much of the pastoral ministry that I see around me. Many of you reading this may not be in church leadership, but the tendency to do rather than be is part of the fallen human condition. Many of us define who we are by what we do and the roles we have. How many of us are so busy with our jobs and responsibilities that the most important job that we have is neglected? If we miss out on getting to know the living God, we have missed out on the main purpose of life.

During my sabbatical, I have a lot of plans. Plans to go to different places and do different things, yet in all those places that I go to and things that I do, my greatest desire is that I will know Him in those things. This is key, for if I take a sabbatical and come back still grasping onto the things that are not mine, all the rest and renewal accomplished will be for naught.

God, help me to learn the things that are Yours, so that I might not make an idol of my ministry and gifting by taking on things that were never mine to control in the first place. Teach me to draw close to You so I can trust You completely in all the things I cannot control.

Photos below "sunset on the beach" "SouthCape Beach Jetty" "Car Show at Simcock Farms" " My Boat in Progress" "My Cape house with newly painted rails"