NOT FROM THE "OUTSIDE IN"

Many people see the role of being a pastor as a noble calling, filled with purpose and divine mission. From experience, I can confirm it is a humbling experience to sense the call of God on your life. It is also the most exciting job to have—I get to serve God full-time. It is a privilege that very few are called to. Yet, beneath this job lies a web of challenges that few truly understand. Pastors face immense expectations (from others and self) to embody perfect faith, hope, and love while often masking their internal battles so that nobody will look down on us. During my sabbatical so far, I have been reading and discovering some things that aren't necessarily new to me but things that I know haven't taken root consistently in my life. I need to relearn these things.

The Weight of Expectations

The moment I became a pastor, I was struck with expectations from both the congregation that I served and for myself. I knew I was far from perfect. In fact, I struggled with many things that I preached about in my sermons, but the pressure was on because I knew that the congregation, at least some, viewed me as the guy with all the answers and would be an example of faith and Christian living to follow. In many ways, pastors are put on pedestals behind the pulpit. So far, many pastors, including myself over the years, have spent a lot of energy trying to maintain an ideal image, trying to be the quintessential professional, and always performing their best. Of course, we're supposed to do our best for the Lord. We should strive for excellence in all that we do in ministry, but as I mentioned in my last blog, we're supposed to do our best in the things that belong to us, not take on things that do not belong to us, and in the process live a double life: the pastor who has it all together, and the guy who wants to follow Jesus with all of his sin, brokenness, and second-guessing.

Statistics reveal that about 70% of pastors report feeling under significant stress due to their roles. This pressure often results in feelings of isolation and inadequacy. When a pastor grapples with personal issues, the fear of disappointing their congregation can feel suffocating.

In another book I'm reading by Lance Witt called "Replenish," he says this:

"Ministry demands will always exceed your capacity."

I resonate with that. There is always more to do. There is always someone in need. There are always prayers to be prayed. This is why nearly 70% of pastors experience burnout, which leaves them feeling exhausted, disconnected, and many times physically sick.

I confess, as a pastor who spends weekdays catering to the needs of others, I often find little time for personal reflection or leisure, leading to feelings of loneliness that can be difficult to shake even though there are people all around me, including my family.

The irony is that on sabbatical, I am spending many days alone, but I don't feel lonely. Of course, I miss my wife and family, but that's a different feeling. The difference is that I'm spending more time in personal reflection, working on my relationship with Jesus, exercising, and working with my hands. I'm essentially living within my capacity. This is a skill I will have to learn to balance when I get back to my church and take on the role of pastor once again. I believe things can change, and for the better. It will be better for me and for those in my congregation.

I'm less than a month into my sabbatical, so I'm sure this list will get longer, but I think the shifts that I need to take are in the following areas:

No More Worshipping at the Altar of Busyness

Once again, in the book "Replenish," Lance Witt says:

"Busyness will not only distract, it will infect. Your busyness will damage your soul. Over time you will develop a hurried spirit. And even when your body is still, your soul will be racing. Your busy spirit will constantly remind you of everything you need to be doing."

In essence, this means that I need to slow down and focus on things that are of greater importance. I need more "be still and know" moments (Psalm 46:10). In reading through the gospels again, I am struck by how often Jesus got away from the crowds to pray, rest, and renew. It was a priority for Jesus so he could have power in ministry. How much more necessary should that be for a broken pastor like me?

Fearless Authenticity

Many have heard the concept of living from the inside out. That is, letting your deep spiritual life inform and empower what you do in ministry and in life. And that's the way it should be, but I find myself often living from the outside in. I strive to be strong on the outside and put up a good front. After all, I need to take care of the needs of others; people shouldn't be worried about taking care of me. Many pastors long for an environment where they can be their true selves without fear of judgment. We crave relationships where we can be seen as relatable individuals rather than idealized figures as if we were Jesus himself. Too much pressure, and the only way to change that is through authenticity. I realize some might not like the new me (which is the real me) or may be taken aback by more honesty, but God has impressed this on me as a necessity if I want to serve Him well.

I really believe that when pastors choose to share their struggles, they foster a culture of honesty within the church. This openness can encourage congregants to share their own challenges and contribute to a supportive community. A pastor’s vulnerability can illustrate a crucial truth: the only perfect example to follow is Jesus. The rest of us lean on God's grace and mercy.

So it is vital for you to recognize that your pastor is not infallible. We are human beings called to serve but who also need support and freedom to be themselves in the truest sense.

I hope if you're reading this and are under the leadership of a pastor, that at least you will realize that more often than not, the struggles faced by pastors often remain hidden behind the pulpit, but they are undeniably real. Pray for your pastor and encourage him to take care of himself so that he can honor Jesus in all things.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion, and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-6

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2